your renegade ways have no place in geek squad / mike lacher for mcsweeneys
Shut the fuck up and let me finish. You caught a lucky break. You ever stop to think what could have happened back there if the problem wasn’t just that the router had to be unplugged and then plugged back in? You ever stop to consider that maybe the power strip was fucked? That maybe you make one wrong move on that router and you’re a pile of fucking ash and bones on the floor of some septuagenarians’ house in the suburbs? Then where are we? You’re dead, and me, instead of fucking my wife on the porch of our boathouse, I’m standing over your sorry barbequed ass in the morgue wondering how the fuck I am going to explain this to Best Buy corporate.